Monday, August 29, 2011

Redemption

I'm sitting at small table who's dressed with dirty white table cloth. We all had a pasta and pesto, fresh tomatoe salad, fresh bread, goat cheese and red wine lunch here a few hours ago. The table and I are alone now, we're both shaded by a nice medium sized walnut tree who's bark is covered in pale fleshy cracks that look like streatch marks. Flies are singing all around me. I've become almost immune to their annoying capabilities. It's hot, but the wind is cool. My nails are dirty and I've been swimming in natural pools and streams almost everyday since I've been in France. It's a beautiful life.

So much so that while picking potatos today I ran into what must have been the wolf spider maternity ward. They weren't very large for wolf spiders, just about quarter size. When we first got here we discovered that our cabin was full of various spiders. Ofcourse, I grabbed the broom and sent them all to arachnid heaven so that I could sleep and dream peacefully. So, to make up for my selfish acts of murder I helped out these despirate mother wolf spiders. I had disturbed their habitat and separated them from their egg sacs by accident. I saw one frantically looking around, trying to dig into the soil with no luck. I started to dig around and vuah-la (I should know how to spell that because I'm in France, but I don't) I found her white puffy eggsack and scooted it next to her. She seemed immensely pleased, crawled on top of it, grabbed it somehow and ran off. I was twice successful finding the mothers their babies. It felt really good.

Life

Sunday, August 14, 2011

"what shall I learn of beans or beans of me?" Thoreau

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Solidarity is real interesting. I've been spending time with only myself for the past three days straight. I guess most of my time here has been spent that way. Me and I have a great time, it's been interestante. But I have definitely had a nice share of great great company over these last five weeks. I've met people I'll never forget and have had some wonderful times.

But in these last three days I have been rather immobile as well. It's really interesting how un-tired of drawing I am and how extremely over the consumption of ham sandwiches I am. SO TIRED OF HAM SANDWICHES.

With my alone time, I've decided to put my thoughts towards something productive. I've been thinking a lot about the future. Not that this is anything new to me, but really, I've been really contemplating it specifically. You know, that question that you get asked over a million.5 times in your life, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" The time has come, sort of.

Alive. Is my answer...a little obvious.

But, to be that I have to make some sort of income, income that makes me happy. Happy is the key word here. I've realized that even with all this pressure (that I so badly want to rebel against) to get a "career" started immediately after graduating, I've realized that I actually want to get a job… Not because that's what everyone is "suppose" to do, or even because I'm going to be in mega debt, but because it really is what I want to do. I want make art, I want to contribute to that world and luckily, it's something I can get paid for. Of course I want to travel and walk all over this planet, and I will, but all these things can be woven together. There's no need to "get the travel bug out of the way." That guy is stuck on me and permanent.

So that's how far I've gotten. I haven't actually come up with any decision. I'll just maybe start there when I get there and see where that takes me, wherever there may be. I'm guessing it'll be somewhere.

I went to the Land of Wonder on Monday. The British Museum I mean. If the V&A and the Natural History Museum had a baby it would be named The British Museum. It was completely LOVELY. Especially the Enlightenment room. What a great collection of STUFF. Such nice bowls, bits of tree, small carved t h i n g s, garments, trinkets, statues, animal pieces, chunks of building (which is almost quite sad to see), jewelry, art, religious paraphernalia, and dead bodies. What a day.

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bits of tree. I want a case like this.
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I love this image. I'm not sure why, but it makes me really happy inside.
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I REALLY like this guy ALOT.
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Then Tuesday I went to Oxford. That was a beautiful day of blue skies, scholarly buildings, and good company. The Natural History Museum in Oxford and Pitts River Museum are basically a mini version of the British Museum on crack. Outside were HUGE chunks of TREES from Africa. BEAUTIFUL TREES. Of which had all fallen down from natural causes. There was an AMAZING collection of insects, seedpods, textiles, and dinosaur stamps. The Pitts River Museum is basically a large room PACKED with glass cases and drawers of things from everywhere.

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Those are great bricks. All day I walked around in this complementary city. BLUE skies and orange architecture.
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yumyumyumyumYUMYUMYUMMMM
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If I were a grasshopper, I'd want to be this.
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I think this tree and I are related.
I walked through Regents Park one afternoon after it had rained. Everything was sopping and beautiful. I watched a confused swan and clever ducks for about 20 minutes and got lost.
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And then I saw her.
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Oh Happy Days.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

"This is a delicious evening, when the whole body is one sense, and imbibes delight through every pore." Thoreau

No matter where you are in the world, no matter what paradise or ideal location, the funk can grab you. I'm not talking about the groovy funk, I'm talking about the daunting funk. Because, no matter where you are physically, psychologically you are always within yourself, and that mental environment can be anything and can change rapidly. I found myself going in and out of this funk for a few days, and then magically out of nowhere, it disappeared with the help of the least likely candidate. I was walking through Hyde Park one day after work, just wandering to nowhere in particular when suddenly I saw a green streak dart to the branch of a nearby tree. I then realized that I had just seen the relative of my worst enemy, Hamlet. The sighting of this wretched bird surprisingly filled my being with joy and brought a very large smile to my face. I sat under this tree and discovered a whole flock of them living in the area. I watched them swim from tree to tree singing, eating and playing. It made me so very happy.


Just look at him.
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I think Hamlet would be happy here right Ma? Maybe you should ship him to me and I'll let him go free?
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And here's the devil.
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Oh Hamletttuce-n-cheese.

I've also moved into a much nicer flat that is roach free, has a private bathroom, and is equipped with utensils and bowls so I don't have to eat my noodles with melted plastic forks and my cereal in a real bowl, instead of out of my small tea cup. Awesome.

Also, I have visited the Houses of Parlament, Trafalgur Square, Oxfort Street, Soho, Marble Arch, had a trip on the London Eye, AND went to the The Natural History Museum.
The Natural History Museum.

OH MAN.
Oh man on man.
SO GOOD.

Except, at the same time it was terrifying and depressing. Far too many taxidermies. I just couldn't enjoy the mammals and birds as much as I wanted to. I kept looking into their lonely dark eyes and hearing them say things like "I'm so lonely …so cold….here in this glass box." It was like their souls were trapped and they were stuck being gawked at by snotty nosed tourists day after day. Hhhh and I was one of them. Then to top it off, some of them had obvious face paint. So they were like these trapped sad caked up animal clowns.

Ah but what a gorgeous building.
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See what I mean?
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Sigh.
Anyway. It was still great great great. I learned that some male spiders will present their female counterparts with a silken wrapped dinner, and while she's munching through the silk to enjoy her feast, he jumps on her and injects her with all his little spider sperm. Tricky bastards. And then, sometimes he plays her for an even worse fool and instead of actually wrapping up a tasty dinner, he wraps up a dried corpse…so she doesn't even get grub out of the deal. What a butt hole.


London Eye
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mmmm atmosphere
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Tadaaaah. Houses of Parlament.
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What a great mustache this guy had.
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interesting.
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I like this guy. He matches the trees.
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And my lovely.
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