Oh Wyoming.

It's been a really long time since I've posted anything. I've attempted to a few times.... but I just come up blank. The end of this last semester has been decorated with quite a few self-conscious uncertainties in multiple aspects of my life. But it's also been sprinkled with great times, loving friends, and wonderful experiences...so I guess it balances out.

One thing is for certain, and I know I dote on it a lot... I really miss Moose, Wyoming and all that comes with it. Many of my most favorite people are there together right now enjoying those magical and breathtaking mountains...and I yyyeeeaaaarrrn for it all. Despite the fact that in a little over a month I will be in London and then later South France, when I think about Wyoming I literally feel nervous and weak with want. It's such a weird thing.

To be inside a labyrinth of ginormous masses of earth, on a path which seemed to always lead to a secret water filled bellybutton....where the earth became quieted upon arrival and accomplishment was felt whole heartedly....secrets were shared between a few strangers who'd soon become life long friends. Pasts were shared, lows and highs, aspirations and regrets, but most importantly, the present was shared with the same vigor and amazement. Those feelings I got were so unbelievable, and to know that the breathing life beside me felt the same thing....It's just hard to have words for how it makes me feel now. Wyoming has pushed me so hard, it has taught me so much, and it still touches me every time I see a slight rise on the flat earth, or an elk or a moose, or snow, the moon, ice cream and coffee, cowboy hats, the color sage or anything similar, tree sap, burrowing ants, a lake, baggy pants, bluegrass, pbr, black birds, artichokes, rice crispy treats, and harrison ford...the list could go on forever. That summer will always be with me. breath. On to the next one!

right?

Change is good. Newness is exciting. And I'll be ready when its time. It all just takes time.


bellybutton.

The press of my foot to the earth springs a hundred affections. -Whitman

"I have often noticed that even a few minutes of this self-forgetfulness is tremendously invigorating. I wonder if we do not waste most of our energy just by spending every waking minute saying hello to ourselves." I love Annie Dillard.

So I was just now standing on my chair and stretching. It's so bright outside and the sky is so blue. It feels so good. There are these tiny moments of complete bliss and comfort that come to me through throughout the day. Once I feel them, I realize them, and I try to achieve them again. But, they are never exactly as wonderful as that initial time. Lately I find myself trying to achieve these moments more often. Maybe it's because things have been so hectic that I find a need to consciously calm myself and remind myself to enjoy simple moments.

This reminds me of something I wrote last September..

"When I find something I really like... I want to have it as much as possible. I want to experience it as often as I can. But the thing about that is that having something so often makes you use to it. It could almost make you numb to it. So the way to go...is to have that thing you like so much as little as possible so that it can continue to feel new. It can continue to awe and amaze you. That's hard. That's life."

oh cheese and rice.

Also, clothing made out of animal placentas by Pinar Yolacan.


This artist is both inspiring and reassuring. Having my work called weird and noncommercial is kind of a complement, (I mean, I guess I always knew that...but was never directly told so.) but is also a little disheartening when thinking about having to make a living from it. But it's all gravy. OMG the best bearded guy EVER is riding his bike down my street!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He was wearing a golf hat and a blazer. Good day. That was magical. That's a moment that i want to happen again. right now.
Anyway. Placentas.